So, lately I have been discussing life changing decisions that have shaped my life. I find that it is usually good to let a little time go by before trying to really determine the blessings and knowledge that each decision has provided, however, I thought I would discuss the last three years at a high level at this time.
In order to really understand how it all came about, let's go back to 2003. In September of that year I was caught in a RIF and found myself out of work for the first time in approximately 15 years. It was pretty traumatic for me, but within about 3 months I was working for another company, considerably closer to home for almost as much as I had been making. The environment was shall we say, different. The language was outrageous, everyday it was a matter of trying to determine who was in a good mood, and who was not. The "bosses" seemed to be constantly shuffling for control, and for 2 years I dealt with not knowing if my job was safe or not. Then the layoffs started, and before they were done the business went bankrupt and I was again out of a job.
I had often thought about having my own business, and that longing became very strong as I started looking again for a decent position. The job market was (and frankly still is) very thin and after several months of looking there were no nibbles. My sister and I began discussing the idea of opening our own hospice. She had been working in hospice for many years as a visiting nurse, charge nurse, director of nursing, and several years in the office with exposure to many of the other facets of the business. I have a fairly extensive background in finance and administration. We began putting a business plan together, and it seemed more and more feasible that we could make a go of it.
I had about $180,000 in savings and investments including my retirement accounts. There were a couple of friends who were interested in investing with us, so all together we had about $210,000 and according to our business plan we should be okay. It would be tight, but we could not imagine it taking more than 15 months to receive Medicare/Medicaid certification (the majority of our patients would come from that community) and we had selected an area where there was not much competition with other hospices. The biggest obstacle was that my sister would need to plan on staying in Colorado for at least 2 and preferably 3 years. That was going to be hard as her children had all moved to Arizona to be with her and her husband.
The first concern was that her husband did not come up with her. He had a good job there and did not wish to change positions. She felt that it would be fine, as she would "travel" back and forth every couple of months. My assumption was that they had already worked out the issue of funding these trips. You remember about "assumption" don't you. Pretty soon she is working nights as a charge nurse in a nursing home and really missing her husband, children, and grand-children. At the end of four months we have our state license and we are ready to begin working toward our Medicare/Medicaid certification. Two months later, I am on a business trip to learn some software that will be used. While I am gone she makes the decision to close the business and go home. She called our patient families and told them to find a new hospice because we are closing our doors. She let the other nurses and the CNA go, and told the rest of the staff we were closing our doors. She packed her things and her husband picked her up and they were gone. I never had any input into what was planned or how things were handled.
I tried to salvage the business, hired a new RN and CNA, managed to fine new patients, talked the rest of the staff into waiting to see if we couldn't get Medicare/Medicaid certification. We finished out the year with no news. As the new year began, the surveyors came out to go through our files, talk with our client families, and make their final judgement. There were lots of things that they wanted clarification on, and we were able to get all but one objection resolved. The one area where they would not budge was that "we" had inappropriately and improperly transferred patients at the time of my sister's departure. We would have to wait at least another 15 months to receive our certification to bill Medicare/Medicaid. That being said, we really did have to close our doors. I was completely out of money, and with that much of a wait ahead of us, there was no loan to be had. However, this time we took care to properly transfer each patient to a new hospice and to coordinate the transfer of information. New grief counseling was arranged for each of our families. We also took the time to provide recommendations for each of the staff members and to help place them prior to closing our doors. Assets that could be sold were, and the resulting funds were placed toward amounts due for drugs, DME, and the answering service. Other creditors were notified appropriately and we closed the doors. So the answer to the question above is apparently NO.
I lost my home, my car, my savings, and my company. I also lost everything that others had invested in the company. We had to file bankruptcy. Mother and I moved from our beautiful 5 bedroom home to a 2 bedroom apartment. We had to sell or give away 75% of our furniture, most of which had significant family memories attached. It was an awful time for us. On top of that, I still did not have a job. It wasn't until September that I was able to start working again, and then at such a reduced wage that I am unable to even buy lunch out once a month. I can pay the rent and our utility bills, but not one thing extra. The court is still taking my income tax refunds.
There was a family in the ward with a car they were willing to donate to a good cause. The Bishop convinced them that I was such a cause, and now I have a method of getting to and from work. I drive 46 miles one way to and from work each day. Thankfully, it has a relatively small gas tank and gets good mileage. It takes $50 or better to fill the gas tank, and I have the distinct privilege of filling it two or three times a week. It takes a minimum of 75 minutes to drive to or from work. I have found that listening to tapes of old conferences talks, and other good books or devotional talks helps utilize the time better than listening to radio. I also realize that I do not have to shovel snow off of a double car driveway or sidewalks that stretch forever. However, the complex maintenance men do not get our walks cleaned before I go to work, and usually they do not get them done before I get home either.
The "laundry room" is now in the kitchen so there are no stairs or long walks to put laundry away. There are no stairs as we live on the ground floor. There is no yard to mow, and no flower garden or vegetable garden to tend. I really miss the flowers, vegetables, grapevines, and beautiful trees. There is no grass by our unit as it is on the edge of the property and the maintenance men are not into fighting off the encroaching field. They have just let the weeds take over. It takes about 1 hour to clean the house each day, and that is if we have been messy which usually is not the case. We are "out of debt" but not via a very honorable way. I feel like I have let too many people down, but I don't know what I could have done differently other than to not have taken the chance. It was a wonderful cause and a noble effort.
I have to get over the anger I feel toward my sister. I have to forgive her, but I am having a problem with that. It would be easier if I thought she felt bad about the position that I was left with; but she doesn't. She is of the mind that she did things right. She left us open to multiple liability suits and other court action. She still does not get it. She could have gone home, but she needed to do it properly. She needed to talk to me about it and wait until I had a new RN. Better yet, she always could have said, "I cannot leave my family that long". Six months is not enough time to start a business. Think about it!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Repentance
As time goes by, we find that some things become more evident to us that they once were. I have found that my reliance on my Heavenly Father, and upon my Savior Jesus Christ, is much stronger and that I need them every day.
About 8 years ago I purchased a home so that my mother could retire and move in with me. We wanted it to be our home, not a a case of one or the other of us moving in to an established environment. As luck would have it, my daughter moved in also, so we were three generations in one home. I think it was wonderful. I will admit that I am prejudiced, but I loved having both of them there. We had plenty of common area and each of us had our own personal space. There was a nice yard and a beautiful deck, once we got some landscaping done.
My first visitors were from the Ward and included the Bishop and his two councilors. They were quickly followed by the Relief Society President and her two councilors in about 3 hours. My daughter and I are members, but my mother never felt the desire to join the church. I promised her that I would not pressure her, and there was no reason for her to doubt my promise. I hadn't been all that active for the previous 20 plus years. However, there was something about those visits. The people obviously genuinely cared about me. They understood that I had not been active, and that I needed more in my life. I felt love. For the first time in many, many years I felt real love and I respond well to love. I wanted more; I craved more. I began attending the meetings every week; accepted a calling as a Visiting Teacher and one as a Family History Consultant.
I began meeting more members of the ward as I would visit in their homes and talk to them about family history work. We began each visit with a prayer and ended each evening with a prayer. I began praying at home and studying the lessons. There was still something wrong, and I knew what it was, I was just afraid to take the action necessary. Over the years I had committed several acts that were not in keeping with my membership in the church. I had broken the word of wisdom, and some of the covenants that I had made with my Savior. I needed to repent. I needed to visit with the Bishop about this.
I was nervous as I waited for that first appointment. What would he think of me? How would I ever be able to look at him once he found out what an awful person I was? How had it come about that I was even in this position? I can't even begin to write about the awful feelings I had. However, once I walked into that office, and he took my hand, I realized that although it was going to be hard, I would be able to tell him everything, and he would be able to help me. I poured out all of the garbage collected over the previous 20 years, and some of it really stunk. He gave me activities that I needed to do including assigned reading, praying, and additional visits. We met several times, discussed what I had been reading including my feelings and thoughts about the selections. What I thought was important to him. He would council me and give me additional activities to do.
Before all was done, he asked me to visit with each of my children and ask for their forgiveness, confessing everything I knew I did that hurt them in one way or another. That was hard. I had not been the always there, patient, kind, long, suffering mother. I had left their father. My actions had made their lives much harder than they should have been. Each of my children told me that they had forgiven me many years earlier. Several of them reminded me that they were endowed and that they had forgiven me before they went to the temple. After gallons of tears, weeks of extra meetings, constant reading, many, many prayers, Bishop's court and other restrictions, I felt the burden of all those years begin to lift. The final night was filled with meditation, tears, and council from my Heavenly Father. I knew then that he loved me, that He knew my heart, and that I would not leave me as long as I did not leave Him.
Since then I have felt the presence of the Holy Ghost, something that I had not felt for many, many years. Life has had many ups and downs and there seems to be a new twist almost every month or two, but through it all I have known that I would not be abandoned. The ward has been there for me, my visiting teachers, home teachers, and local leaders have been there to strengthen me. I have received guidance and council, and I have felt my Father's love. I have felt the atonement work for me. Now I know where I priorities lie. I look for ways to serve; to feed His sheep; to be what He wants me to be. I am not saying that I have it all down pat; that is an incredible stretch. However, at least I realize what the goal is now, and I know that as long as I do the best I can, my Savior will make up the rest. I don't know what will happen when I stand before Him, but I do know that He loves me.
By the way, I am still a visiting teacher, and I am still a Family History Consultant. They are awsome callings.
About 8 years ago I purchased a home so that my mother could retire and move in with me. We wanted it to be our home, not a a case of one or the other of us moving in to an established environment. As luck would have it, my daughter moved in also, so we were three generations in one home. I think it was wonderful. I will admit that I am prejudiced, but I loved having both of them there. We had plenty of common area and each of us had our own personal space. There was a nice yard and a beautiful deck, once we got some landscaping done.
My first visitors were from the Ward and included the Bishop and his two councilors. They were quickly followed by the Relief Society President and her two councilors in about 3 hours. My daughter and I are members, but my mother never felt the desire to join the church. I promised her that I would not pressure her, and there was no reason for her to doubt my promise. I hadn't been all that active for the previous 20 plus years. However, there was something about those visits. The people obviously genuinely cared about me. They understood that I had not been active, and that I needed more in my life. I felt love. For the first time in many, many years I felt real love and I respond well to love. I wanted more; I craved more. I began attending the meetings every week; accepted a calling as a Visiting Teacher and one as a Family History Consultant.
I began meeting more members of the ward as I would visit in their homes and talk to them about family history work. We began each visit with a prayer and ended each evening with a prayer. I began praying at home and studying the lessons. There was still something wrong, and I knew what it was, I was just afraid to take the action necessary. Over the years I had committed several acts that were not in keeping with my membership in the church. I had broken the word of wisdom, and some of the covenants that I had made with my Savior. I needed to repent. I needed to visit with the Bishop about this.
I was nervous as I waited for that first appointment. What would he think of me? How would I ever be able to look at him once he found out what an awful person I was? How had it come about that I was even in this position? I can't even begin to write about the awful feelings I had. However, once I walked into that office, and he took my hand, I realized that although it was going to be hard, I would be able to tell him everything, and he would be able to help me. I poured out all of the garbage collected over the previous 20 years, and some of it really stunk. He gave me activities that I needed to do including assigned reading, praying, and additional visits. We met several times, discussed what I had been reading including my feelings and thoughts about the selections. What I thought was important to him. He would council me and give me additional activities to do.
Before all was done, he asked me to visit with each of my children and ask for their forgiveness, confessing everything I knew I did that hurt them in one way or another. That was hard. I had not been the always there, patient, kind, long, suffering mother. I had left their father. My actions had made their lives much harder than they should have been. Each of my children told me that they had forgiven me many years earlier. Several of them reminded me that they were endowed and that they had forgiven me before they went to the temple. After gallons of tears, weeks of extra meetings, constant reading, many, many prayers, Bishop's court and other restrictions, I felt the burden of all those years begin to lift. The final night was filled with meditation, tears, and council from my Heavenly Father. I knew then that he loved me, that He knew my heart, and that I would not leave me as long as I did not leave Him.
Since then I have felt the presence of the Holy Ghost, something that I had not felt for many, many years. Life has had many ups and downs and there seems to be a new twist almost every month or two, but through it all I have known that I would not be abandoned. The ward has been there for me, my visiting teachers, home teachers, and local leaders have been there to strengthen me. I have received guidance and council, and I have felt my Father's love. I have felt the atonement work for me. Now I know where I priorities lie. I look for ways to serve; to feed His sheep; to be what He wants me to be. I am not saying that I have it all down pat; that is an incredible stretch. However, at least I realize what the goal is now, and I know that as long as I do the best I can, my Savior will make up the rest. I don't know what will happen when I stand before Him, but I do know that He loves me.
By the way, I am still a visiting teacher, and I am still a Family History Consultant. They are awsome callings.
Monday, May 19, 2008
I Need Thee Every Hour....
Sometimes the best decision we make can become one of the hardest to maintain, and one of the hardest to truthfully write about. However, since I have embarked on this journey, I feel it is only right that I discuss all of the major decisions that I have made.
I had a wonderful friend in Peggy. She was one of the first people outside of my family that I met and really liked. Her mother was almost a second mother to me. Peggy's home was the last stop on our way to elementary school, and she had a sister the same age as my sister and a brother the same age as my brother. When I was not at home, I was at her home. I knew most of her extended family and even went with her cousin "Dutch" to his senior prom.
At the tender age of 14 Peggy, her mother, sister, and brother joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Peggy immediately asked me to attend Mutual with her (the youth group that met on Wednesday evenings). My sister went with Marty (Peggy's sister), and we really enjoyed the evenings. There was singing, lessons, activities and we soon found ourselves attending the dances, service projects, participating in Road Shows and eventually attending Sacrament and Sunday School. My parents were fine with us going with Peggy and her family as they were not particularly religious and realized that we were going to be safe and cared for with this group.
Several months later we had the opportunity to take the investigator discussions from two young missionaries. Again, my parents were very supportive. When we decided that we wanted to be baptised, they asked a couple of questions, and then determined that it was okay with them. They hoped that we would follow the Word of Wisdom which meant no "alcohol, tobacco, or non-prescribed drugs". They liked the chastity and modesty training that we were taught, and they were able to agree with a lot of the doctrine.
I must admit that my sister was much more resolved than I was. When she and her husband were married, it was with the stipulation that he would be baptised before they were married and that they would be sealed in the temple 12 months later (which indeed happened). Her children were all born in the church and constantly raised by two loving, committed parents.
My first marriage was to a non-member who ended up having no desire to even consider taking the discussions. I married him anyway (because again I was afraid that no one would ever love me). I would find out later that he didn't love me either. I became very disillusioned and consequently inactive.
I married again, a non-member who eventually joined the church. He was working with the cadets (teenagers) in CAP and he fell in love with my two little boys. He was a bit older than I was, and I felt very safe with him. I could not imagine him hitting me or the children. This time I was determined to do it right. I went to my church meetings, accepted callings, tried to keep a loving clean home. We were even sealed in the temple, and I tried with all my might to be worthy of him. Again, I was not able to do it. It seemed the harder I tried, the less interested in me he became. Finally, it was to the point that he would not even want to talk with me or listen to my pleas for him to pay a little attention to my needs. He did not trust me to properly care for our children (he had adopted the two from my first marriage and we had four more), and he certainly did not trust me to cook for or entertain his family or friends. He did not like any of my needlework so I was not to place any pictures, pillows, etc. where they might be seen (in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, or bedroom).
I soon found myself with no friends, no support system, and absolutely no self-esteem. I had let Satan back into my life and he stripped me of all my self-confidence. I left the marriage and for several years fought the urge to take my own life. I was not active in the church because "I did not deserve those blessings" in my life.
I am sure that you realize that this is not the thinking of a rational person, but nowhere am I claiming that I was rational. I know that the closer I came to my Heavenly Father, the harder Satan worked on me; and this time he hit the jackpot. I have never remarried, and I have no intention of doing so at this late date. I was not a model of chastity, modesty, moderation, humility, or self-control for many years. The ones that truly suffered were my children. They are all much stronger than their mother thanks to the love and nurturing they received from their father, church leaders, teachers, home teachers, and scouting advisors.
I have since repented of all of the sins that I was party to. I have spent hours with my bishop, stake and ward priesthood advisers, home teachers, visiting teachers, and I have prayed for forgiveness from my Savior. I have asked my children for forgiveness, and I am working very hard to be worthy of them. I know that my salvation is a personal thing, and that I am responsible for potentially ruining all chance for exaltation (as that is a family thing). I pray daily for forgiveness as I try to work on those things that will potentially lead me away from my goal of returning to my Heavenly Father. I also know that my husband did the best he could. He did not realize before hand that his "wife" was an emotional wreck or that she would be so "high maintenance". He always did the best he could and I admire him for that now. It is really too bad that I couldn't give him that consideration 26 years ago.
In the meantime, I try not to dwell on those bad decisions that I made and I try to counsel my children on the importance of remaining close to their Savior Jesus Christ. I also counsel them to marry only when they are reasonably sure that they have found someone they want to spend eternity with. I know that I will never know the joy of that kind of relationship. I have witnessed others who have found it and have been able to cultivate it and make it stronger. I have great admiration for them.
I know that my Heavenly Father loves me, and I love Him; and that He will help me as long as I remain faithful to Him. I pray daily; I read my scriptures; I do not judge others; I serve when and where I can; I work very hard at keeping those demons away from my mind. Every morning I consciously make the decision to try again. Every evening I repent of those things I am aware of that were not pleasing to my Savior. Every hour I am aware of "whose" help I need.
I had a wonderful friend in Peggy. She was one of the first people outside of my family that I met and really liked. Her mother was almost a second mother to me. Peggy's home was the last stop on our way to elementary school, and she had a sister the same age as my sister and a brother the same age as my brother. When I was not at home, I was at her home. I knew most of her extended family and even went with her cousin "Dutch" to his senior prom.
At the tender age of 14 Peggy, her mother, sister, and brother joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Peggy immediately asked me to attend Mutual with her (the youth group that met on Wednesday evenings). My sister went with Marty (Peggy's sister), and we really enjoyed the evenings. There was singing, lessons, activities and we soon found ourselves attending the dances, service projects, participating in Road Shows and eventually attending Sacrament and Sunday School. My parents were fine with us going with Peggy and her family as they were not particularly religious and realized that we were going to be safe and cared for with this group.
Several months later we had the opportunity to take the investigator discussions from two young missionaries. Again, my parents were very supportive. When we decided that we wanted to be baptised, they asked a couple of questions, and then determined that it was okay with them. They hoped that we would follow the Word of Wisdom which meant no "alcohol, tobacco, or non-prescribed drugs". They liked the chastity and modesty training that we were taught, and they were able to agree with a lot of the doctrine.
I must admit that my sister was much more resolved than I was. When she and her husband were married, it was with the stipulation that he would be baptised before they were married and that they would be sealed in the temple 12 months later (which indeed happened). Her children were all born in the church and constantly raised by two loving, committed parents.
My first marriage was to a non-member who ended up having no desire to even consider taking the discussions. I married him anyway (because again I was afraid that no one would ever love me). I would find out later that he didn't love me either. I became very disillusioned and consequently inactive.
I married again, a non-member who eventually joined the church. He was working with the cadets (teenagers) in CAP and he fell in love with my two little boys. He was a bit older than I was, and I felt very safe with him. I could not imagine him hitting me or the children. This time I was determined to do it right. I went to my church meetings, accepted callings, tried to keep a loving clean home. We were even sealed in the temple, and I tried with all my might to be worthy of him. Again, I was not able to do it. It seemed the harder I tried, the less interested in me he became. Finally, it was to the point that he would not even want to talk with me or listen to my pleas for him to pay a little attention to my needs. He did not trust me to properly care for our children (he had adopted the two from my first marriage and we had four more), and he certainly did not trust me to cook for or entertain his family or friends. He did not like any of my needlework so I was not to place any pictures, pillows, etc. where they might be seen (in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, or bedroom).
I soon found myself with no friends, no support system, and absolutely no self-esteem. I had let Satan back into my life and he stripped me of all my self-confidence. I left the marriage and for several years fought the urge to take my own life. I was not active in the church because "I did not deserve those blessings" in my life.
I am sure that you realize that this is not the thinking of a rational person, but nowhere am I claiming that I was rational. I know that the closer I came to my Heavenly Father, the harder Satan worked on me; and this time he hit the jackpot. I have never remarried, and I have no intention of doing so at this late date. I was not a model of chastity, modesty, moderation, humility, or self-control for many years. The ones that truly suffered were my children. They are all much stronger than their mother thanks to the love and nurturing they received from their father, church leaders, teachers, home teachers, and scouting advisors.
I have since repented of all of the sins that I was party to. I have spent hours with my bishop, stake and ward priesthood advisers, home teachers, visiting teachers, and I have prayed for forgiveness from my Savior. I have asked my children for forgiveness, and I am working very hard to be worthy of them. I know that my salvation is a personal thing, and that I am responsible for potentially ruining all chance for exaltation (as that is a family thing). I pray daily for forgiveness as I try to work on those things that will potentially lead me away from my goal of returning to my Heavenly Father. I also know that my husband did the best he could. He did not realize before hand that his "wife" was an emotional wreck or that she would be so "high maintenance". He always did the best he could and I admire him for that now. It is really too bad that I couldn't give him that consideration 26 years ago.
In the meantime, I try not to dwell on those bad decisions that I made and I try to counsel my children on the importance of remaining close to their Savior Jesus Christ. I also counsel them to marry only when they are reasonably sure that they have found someone they want to spend eternity with. I know that I will never know the joy of that kind of relationship. I have witnessed others who have found it and have been able to cultivate it and make it stronger. I have great admiration for them.
I know that my Heavenly Father loves me, and I love Him; and that He will help me as long as I remain faithful to Him. I pray daily; I read my scriptures; I do not judge others; I serve when and where I can; I work very hard at keeping those demons away from my mind. Every morning I consciously make the decision to try again. Every evening I repent of those things I am aware of that were not pleasing to my Savior. Every hour I am aware of "whose" help I need.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
The Real World. . . . .
Directly out of high school, my parents sent me to college; CU Denver Center. I had no goals, no clear understanding of what I was going to do with my education, and I promptly failed my first semester. There would be no more college on their nickle.
I began work at a local donut shop working the graveyard shift preparing, decorating, and selling donuts and coffee. That lasted for about 16 months, and I realized I wanted more than to finish donuts, so I applied at one of the banks downtown for a position "coding" insurance documents. This was my first exposure to computers, key punch, and the resulting keypunch cards; trays and trays of cards. While there, one of my co-workers introduced me to her boyfriend's best friend; a slick talking, good looking, fun loving man that I quickly thought I was in love with. Within six months we were married and 10 1/2 months later my oldest child was born and my husband was on his third job and drinking pretty heavily. He was very possessive of my time, to the point of being abusive if he felt that I was slighting him in the least. The night I ran from the house, carrying my screaming 15-month old he threw an iron through the front window trying to stop me. He was so drunk that he could not get the keys in the ignition, but not too drunk to hit me repeatedly. I made it safely to my parents home about 1 1/2 miles away, and filed for divorce within one month after that. Six months after leaving him, I gave birth to my second child.
Welcome to the real world. I am a divorced, single parent with two little boys dependent upon me for everything. I have no education beyond high school, and no job. I think it is time to make a decision. I remembered my love for medicine and found that I could take a course at CCD in Radiological Technology. The pay was good and the demand was high. It was a two year course with a 1 year internship, and I graduated with an Associate in Science. This time I qualified for a grant and I completed my studies and internship with a 4.0 grade average. The moral of this story is, college makes sense if you know why you are there and you have a goal.
It is really not healthy to wonder what life would have been like if I had made a decision directly out of high school instead of just floating along with the current. I dearly love my two oldest boys. They were worth the abuse and the knowledge gained. They have been extremely close to my heart every since the day each was born.
I began work at a local donut shop working the graveyard shift preparing, decorating, and selling donuts and coffee. That lasted for about 16 months, and I realized I wanted more than to finish donuts, so I applied at one of the banks downtown for a position "coding" insurance documents. This was my first exposure to computers, key punch, and the resulting keypunch cards; trays and trays of cards. While there, one of my co-workers introduced me to her boyfriend's best friend; a slick talking, good looking, fun loving man that I quickly thought I was in love with. Within six months we were married and 10 1/2 months later my oldest child was born and my husband was on his third job and drinking pretty heavily. He was very possessive of my time, to the point of being abusive if he felt that I was slighting him in the least. The night I ran from the house, carrying my screaming 15-month old he threw an iron through the front window trying to stop me. He was so drunk that he could not get the keys in the ignition, but not too drunk to hit me repeatedly. I made it safely to my parents home about 1 1/2 miles away, and filed for divorce within one month after that. Six months after leaving him, I gave birth to my second child.
Welcome to the real world. I am a divorced, single parent with two little boys dependent upon me for everything. I have no education beyond high school, and no job. I think it is time to make a decision. I remembered my love for medicine and found that I could take a course at CCD in Radiological Technology. The pay was good and the demand was high. It was a two year course with a 1 year internship, and I graduated with an Associate in Science. This time I qualified for a grant and I completed my studies and internship with a 4.0 grade average. The moral of this story is, college makes sense if you know why you are there and you have a goal.
It is really not healthy to wonder what life would have been like if I had made a decision directly out of high school instead of just floating along with the current. I dearly love my two oldest boys. They were worth the abuse and the knowledge gained. They have been extremely close to my heart every since the day each was born.
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