I found this list on a friend's blog and liked it. It is basically 200 random activities you have either done or have not done. The game is to bold those things that you have done. Once the list is completely bold print I guess life is over. Personally, I think I could come up with another list of more things to do. Anyway, here is my take at this point in time.
200 Have and Have-nots!
1. Touched an iceberg
2. Slept under the stars
3. Been a part of a hockey fight
4. Changed a baby's diaper
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Swam with wild dolphins
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a tarantula
10. Said "I love you" and meant it
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Bet on a winning horse
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Taken an ice cold bath
28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Ridden a roller coaster
31. Hit a home run
32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
33. Adopted an accent for fun
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment
36. Loved your job 90% of the time
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Watched wild whales
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach
41. Gone sky diving
42. Visited Ireland
43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited India
45. Bench-pressed your own weight
46. Milked a cow
47. Alphabetized your personal files
48. Ever worn a superhero costume
49. Sung karaoke
50. Lounged around in bed all day
51. Gone scuba diving
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Done something you should regret, but don't
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Been in a movie
60. Gone without food for 3 days
61. Made cookies from scratch
62. Won first prize in a costume contest
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Been in a combat zone
65. Spoken more than one language fluently
66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
67. Bounced a check
68. Read - and understood - your credit report
69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
71. Called or written your Congress person
72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
73. Walked or driven the Golden Gate Bridge
74. Helped an animal give birth
75. Been fired or laid off from a job
76. Won money
77. Broken a bone
78. Ridden a motorcycle
79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
81. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read The Bible and/or The Book of Mormon cover to cover
86. Changed someones mind about something you care deeply about
87. Gotten someone fired for their actions
88. Gone back to school
89. Changed your name
90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands
91. Eaten fried green tomatoes
92. Read The Iliad
93. Taught yourself an art from scratch
94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
97. Been elected to public office
98. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
99. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
101. Had a booth at a street fair
102. Dyed your hair
103. Been a DJ
104. Rocked a baby to sleep
105. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all fours
106. Raked your carpet
107. Brought out the best in people
108. Brought out the worst in people
109. Worn a mood ring
110. Ridden a horse
111. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap
112. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe
113. Buried a child
114. Gone to a Broadway play
115. Been inside the pyramids
116. Shot a basketball into a basket
117. Danced at a disco
118. Played in a band
119. Shot a bird
120. Gone to an arboretum
121. Tutored someone
122. Ridden a train
123. Brought an old fad back into style
124. Eaten caviar
125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn’t need
126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant
127. Published a book
128. Pieced a quilt
129. Lived in an historic place
130. Acted in a play or performed on a stage
131. Asked for a raise
132. Made a hole-in-one
133. Gone kayaking in the ocean
134. Gone roller skating
135. Run a marathon
136. Learned to surf
137. Invented something
138. Flown first class
139. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite
140. Flown in a helicopter
141. Visited Africa
142. Sang a solo
143. Gone spelunking
144. Learned how to take a compliment
145. Written a love-story
146. Seen Michelangelo’s David
147. Had your portrait painted
148. Written a fan letter
149. Spent the night in something haunted
150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane
151. Ran away
152. Learned to juggle
153. Been a boss
154. Sat on a jury
155. Lied about your weight
156. Gone on a diet
157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget
158. Written a poem
159. Carried your lunch in a lunchbox
160. Gotten food poisoning
161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission
162. Gone deep-sea fishing
163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks
164. Gone to the opera
165. Gotten a letter from someone famous.
166. Worn knickers
167. Ridden in a limousine
168. Attended the Olympics
169. Can hula or waltz
170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books
171. Been stuck in an elevator
172. Had a revelatory dream
173. Thought you might crash in an airplane
174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert
175. Saved someone’s life
176. Eaten raw whale
177. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint
178. Laughed till your side hurt
179. Straddled the equator
180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing
181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival
182. Sent a message in a bottle
183. Spent the night in a hostel
184. Been a cashier
185. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
186. Joined a union.
187. Donated blood or plasma
188. Built a campfire
189. Kept a blog
190. Had hives
191. Worn custom made shoes or boots
192. Made a PowerPoint presentation
193. Taken a Hunter’s Safety Course
194. Served at a soup kitchen
195. Conquered the Rubik’s cube.
196. Know CPR
197. Ridden in or owned a convertible
198. Found a long lost friend
199. Helped solve a crime
200. Commented on a blog.
Feel free to change # 200.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
A Goal is realized... A Mission Call....
Each year the bishop sits with me during the annual Tithing Settlement and we discuss goals. How did I do on the goals for this year? What are my goals for next year? What are my long term goals? You know the drill I am sure. I think this is a very important exercise, and I take it very seriously.
For the last couple of years my long term goal has been to serve a mission. At times it seemed that I had set a very unrealistic goal. I am not able to support myself for a typical mission. All of my savings is gone and I will be working as long as absolutely possible. My health is not the best. In fact, I have so much trouble breathing that I think twice about simple vacations. Additionally, I have my mother, and her support, to think of. That is not a negative, it is just a fact. So, how did I think I would ever be in a position to serve a mission? The desire was still there and very strong. I knew that if I prayed long enough, looked hard enough, and asked my Heavenly Father for the strength and blessing of serving a mission that something would happen; and it has.
Several months ago I received an email from the Church Family History Department about the new family history website. The email stated that there are mission opportunities available to help support the new site. These are very unique opportunities. You serve from home; you serve 16 - 30 hours a week at a schedule you determine. Therefore, I can still work my regular job and still fill a mission working nights and weekends as a technical support person for the new website. I spent almost a month working with the Family History Department to get my browser up to speed, determine my system's capacity to hold the programs, arrange for training, and determine which products I will be able to support. Given my time constraints, late evenings, it is pretty evident that the majority of the patrons I will serve will be outside of the mainland; Australia, New Zeland, Hawaii, Alaska....
As I picked up the mail this morning, I found my mission call. I am almost shaking with excitment. This is a long term goal that I am actually accomplishing. My training starts August 4th. It is official! I will be set apart as a missionary and I will have a badge and everything. Mostly I will have the opportunity to share one of my passions, family history, with the world. I will be able to help others access and use this wonderful new site. I will be serving. I will be in the service of my God.
For the last couple of years my long term goal has been to serve a mission. At times it seemed that I had set a very unrealistic goal. I am not able to support myself for a typical mission. All of my savings is gone and I will be working as long as absolutely possible. My health is not the best. In fact, I have so much trouble breathing that I think twice about simple vacations. Additionally, I have my mother, and her support, to think of. That is not a negative, it is just a fact. So, how did I think I would ever be in a position to serve a mission? The desire was still there and very strong. I knew that if I prayed long enough, looked hard enough, and asked my Heavenly Father for the strength and blessing of serving a mission that something would happen; and it has.
Several months ago I received an email from the Church Family History Department about the new family history website. The email stated that there are mission opportunities available to help support the new site. These are very unique opportunities. You serve from home; you serve 16 - 30 hours a week at a schedule you determine. Therefore, I can still work my regular job and still fill a mission working nights and weekends as a technical support person for the new website. I spent almost a month working with the Family History Department to get my browser up to speed, determine my system's capacity to hold the programs, arrange for training, and determine which products I will be able to support. Given my time constraints, late evenings, it is pretty evident that the majority of the patrons I will serve will be outside of the mainland; Australia, New Zeland, Hawaii, Alaska....
As I picked up the mail this morning, I found my mission call. I am almost shaking with excitment. This is a long term goal that I am actually accomplishing. My training starts August 4th. It is official! I will be set apart as a missionary and I will have a badge and everything. Mostly I will have the opportunity to share one of my passions, family history, with the world. I will be able to help others access and use this wonderful new site. I will be serving. I will be in the service of my God.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Expectations.....
It is amazing how often we humans, especially we very human mothers, inadvertently "interfere" where our presence is not needed or necessarily wanted. It is also sad when such "interference" causes hard feelings between parent and child. My child is 28 years old. She is a delightful young woman, and I have always felt that she had a reasonably good head on her shoulders. I have not had problems with the young men that she dated in the past. After all, she is responsible, has been raised to stand up for her morals and principles, and she has five older brothers if something goes wrong. Now all of a sudden, I find myself acting like the proverbial "witch" (I used a "w"), harping at her and not giving her choice of men a chance. Did she suddenly lose her mind? Where are her priorities? Have things changed all that much?
What a complicated issue! I am going to sort it out here because this appears to be a perfectly safe place to do so. 1 - She is still my daughter, and I think she still has a good head on her shoulders. She is just very interested in a young man who does not happen to live where we do. He does not have the same background we do, which may or may not be a plus, and he has her full attention. 2 - "We are all children of our Heavenly Father, and he loves each one of us." That means He loves this young man and my daughter as much as he loves me (I hope). At the moment he is probably not very proud of me. 3 - "I need to learn to love more." "I need to learn to serve more." "I need to learn to be more patient and tolerant." (I think that is actually 3, 4, and 5.) There is way too much truth in all of those statements.
This young man came from Texas to Colorado to meet my daughter (they have been corresponding and talking on the phone for four months) and her family. We had planned a family bar-b-cue for him. He was nervous and I was not impressed with my first look at him. He wore studded leather (I think), a t-shirt, tattoos, voluntarily shaved his head, and has a goatee. I had just come from church and would rather have seen a young man in slacks, collared shirt, tie, conservative haircut (unless he is follicle challenged as most of my sons are), and carrying his scriptures under his arm. (Alright, we can all dream.)
As we ate dinner this brave soul offered to answer our questions. I asked him about his dreams and goals. His answer was that he doesn't have any ("red flag"). His life has been hard. He has worked since dropping out of school ("red flag"); and he does not feel he has the option of setting goals or dreaming. My thought is that if you do not have goals you will never move ahead. He is just letting life push and pull him along. He is reactive not proactive. My daughter is generally a very proactive person. He does not have a high school education, my daughter is going to college. (Please let her continue with her goal of getting her RN). All I could see are "red flags". All she sees is a young man who is misunderstood my most of society, and who needs her to help him realize his potential.
After dinner he asks me where he should get his next tattoo(there it is again). I was not sure what to say. I wanted to say something to the effect that he should have the ones he has removed, but I knew that was the wrong thing to say at this point in time. Looking back, I can see it was supposed to be a joke, but I sure didn't see it as one. This man has my daughter's full attention, and he is not the "return missionary" I was expecting she would select as the object of her affection. I was awful. I decided it was more important to put a door knob on my son's bedroom door than stay outside and visit with this guest who could potentially become my son-in-law. When it came time for them to leave, they were going to spend time with my daughters best friend, I said, "Nice to meet you, have a great trip back to Texas!" How's that for rude? I should be shot.
What a hypocrite I am!! I not only lost all of my manners, I closed the door to getting to know this young man better. Can you say "REPENT"; ask for forgiveness from your daughter as well as her friend? Do it now!! Don't be surprised if he doesn't want to talk to you or trust you. You have done nothing to merit his trust. The fact of the matter is, he could very well be a wonderful person, full of tender feelings for my daughter, and capable of making her happy. Who is to say that the "clean cut, return missionary" won't ever hurt her emotionally or physically? Just because he is from Texas does not mean he is incapable of properly caring for her. Just because he lives in the "middle of nowhere" does that mean that he isn't housebroken or is socially unacceptable? Does the fact that he has had a hard life mean he can't provide a safe and secure home for a wife and children? It may sound as if I am jumping the gun here, but that is exactly where her heart is headed.
I know the answers to those questions. My father was not "acceptable" to my grandparents, but he did provide for us. They were married 54 years before he died, and he did his best for all of us. He learned to set goals and to dream. He already knew how to work. He took classes to learn new skills including radio and TV repair, property management, and real estate brokerage. He was a carpenter most of his life, but when construction was down, he always found a way to meet our needs. He was involved in our lives, building our day camps, overnight camps, volunteering in CAP, and scouting. He was a good husband and father.
I do not want the kind of strained relationship my father had with my grandparents. I want my daughters-in-law and son-in-law to feel totally accepted and loved by me and by our family. It has to start with the tone I set, and therefore, I have a lot of work to do. I will do it; I love my daughter too much not to do it. If either of you read this, I am so sorry. Please give me another chance.
What a complicated issue! I am going to sort it out here because this appears to be a perfectly safe place to do so. 1 - She is still my daughter, and I think she still has a good head on her shoulders. She is just very interested in a young man who does not happen to live where we do. He does not have the same background we do, which may or may not be a plus, and he has her full attention. 2 - "We are all children of our Heavenly Father, and he loves each one of us." That means He loves this young man and my daughter as much as he loves me (I hope). At the moment he is probably not very proud of me. 3 - "I need to learn to love more." "I need to learn to serve more." "I need to learn to be more patient and tolerant." (I think that is actually 3, 4, and 5.) There is way too much truth in all of those statements.
This young man came from Texas to Colorado to meet my daughter (they have been corresponding and talking on the phone for four months) and her family. We had planned a family bar-b-cue for him. He was nervous and I was not impressed with my first look at him. He wore studded leather (I think), a t-shirt, tattoos, voluntarily shaved his head, and has a goatee. I had just come from church and would rather have seen a young man in slacks, collared shirt, tie, conservative haircut (unless he is follicle challenged as most of my sons are), and carrying his scriptures under his arm. (Alright, we can all dream.)
As we ate dinner this brave soul offered to answer our questions. I asked him about his dreams and goals. His answer was that he doesn't have any ("red flag"). His life has been hard. He has worked since dropping out of school ("red flag"); and he does not feel he has the option of setting goals or dreaming. My thought is that if you do not have goals you will never move ahead. He is just letting life push and pull him along. He is reactive not proactive. My daughter is generally a very proactive person. He does not have a high school education, my daughter is going to college. (Please let her continue with her goal of getting her RN). All I could see are "red flags". All she sees is a young man who is misunderstood my most of society, and who needs her to help him realize his potential.
After dinner he asks me where he should get his next tattoo(there it is again). I was not sure what to say. I wanted to say something to the effect that he should have the ones he has removed, but I knew that was the wrong thing to say at this point in time. Looking back, I can see it was supposed to be a joke, but I sure didn't see it as one. This man has my daughter's full attention, and he is not the "return missionary" I was expecting she would select as the object of her affection. I was awful. I decided it was more important to put a door knob on my son's bedroom door than stay outside and visit with this guest who could potentially become my son-in-law. When it came time for them to leave, they were going to spend time with my daughters best friend, I said, "Nice to meet you, have a great trip back to Texas!" How's that for rude? I should be shot.
What a hypocrite I am!! I not only lost all of my manners, I closed the door to getting to know this young man better. Can you say "REPENT"; ask for forgiveness from your daughter as well as her friend? Do it now!! Don't be surprised if he doesn't want to talk to you or trust you. You have done nothing to merit his trust. The fact of the matter is, he could very well be a wonderful person, full of tender feelings for my daughter, and capable of making her happy. Who is to say that the "clean cut, return missionary" won't ever hurt her emotionally or physically? Just because he is from Texas does not mean he is incapable of properly caring for her. Just because he lives in the "middle of nowhere" does that mean that he isn't housebroken or is socially unacceptable? Does the fact that he has had a hard life mean he can't provide a safe and secure home for a wife and children? It may sound as if I am jumping the gun here, but that is exactly where her heart is headed.
I know the answers to those questions. My father was not "acceptable" to my grandparents, but he did provide for us. They were married 54 years before he died, and he did his best for all of us. He learned to set goals and to dream. He already knew how to work. He took classes to learn new skills including radio and TV repair, property management, and real estate brokerage. He was a carpenter most of his life, but when construction was down, he always found a way to meet our needs. He was involved in our lives, building our day camps, overnight camps, volunteering in CAP, and scouting. He was a good husband and father.
I do not want the kind of strained relationship my father had with my grandparents. I want my daughters-in-law and son-in-law to feel totally accepted and loved by me and by our family. It has to start with the tone I set, and therefore, I have a lot of work to do. I will do it; I love my daughter too much not to do it. If either of you read this, I am so sorry. Please give me another chance.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
It is a Daily Process.....
As you may remember, I wrote about repentance earlier. It is a daily activity now. It seems that as hard as I might try, I still have to face up to the fact that I am my own worse enemy. You probably noticed that I have been harboring some negative feelings where my sister is concerned. I love her and I respect all she has done. However, that did not keep me from feeling that she did not care that I was hurting so badly.
I have since come to realize that I hadn't told her how much it hurt, or even why I was harboring those feelings. I also realize that she did the best she could under the circumstances. After all, her marriage is much more important that a business (especially a struggling one), and there was a real possibility of losing her husband if she had not returned home when she did.
I know that I need to be more tolerant. It is something that I am working on. I have made the decision to just drop the whole matter. It takes too much energy on my part to harbor bad feelings, and she is struggling right now with knee surgery, so I don't need to add my burdens to her already aching back. It is time for me to work on my own problems and stop trying to figure out how others should live.
I forgive you. I understand, and I don't want to waste any more energy on something that can't be changed. I want my family to be happy again, so, I hope you will be able to forgive me also so that we can indeed kneel at the altar in the temple when we are sealed to Mom and Dad.
Now, if I could just get all of these other little habits and slips to stop. I finally got the carpets cleaned and the furniture will be moved back tonight. The dishes are done, and the laundry is current. It would really help if the mail did not pile up on me and if the plants on the patio would not dry out so quickly. I am trying to get the upper hand on life so that I am more proactive and less reactive. It seems there is always so much work to be done, and not enough time for "fun". However, fun usually costs money or virtue, so I guess I should be glad there is so much work to do.
I am also trying to stop the habit of day dreaming. The biggest reason is that my day dreams are not very productive. They also sometimes slip into areas that I have worked hard to overcome in the past. One of the hardest things for me to overcome in the idea that I will someday not feel the pain and hurt that I have caused others in the past.
I listened to a talk by Wendy Watson Nelson in which she says that the Savior can heal with "NO SCARS". In my heart I know that it is true, but in my head I still have the memory of the pain I caused my children when I left my marriage, and every time I hear them discuss their childhood it comes back with full force and takes my breath away again. She mentioned the metaphor of a board full of nails being a person with active sin. Repentance was the act of removing the nails from the board. She said that it is tragic that some people spend the rest of their lives walking around with all of those holes in their heart. I think I am one of those people. I pray that someday those holes will close up, but in the meantime, I still bleed each time I remember how weak I was.
Each day I pray for strength; strength to overcome yesterday's weaknesses, strength to bear today's burdens, and strength or face tomorrow's challenges. I also pray that someday I will be able to look back and not crumple into a mass of tears. It has been 26 years and I am still crying.
I have since come to realize that I hadn't told her how much it hurt, or even why I was harboring those feelings. I also realize that she did the best she could under the circumstances. After all, her marriage is much more important that a business (especially a struggling one), and there was a real possibility of losing her husband if she had not returned home when she did.
I know that I need to be more tolerant. It is something that I am working on. I have made the decision to just drop the whole matter. It takes too much energy on my part to harbor bad feelings, and she is struggling right now with knee surgery, so I don't need to add my burdens to her already aching back. It is time for me to work on my own problems and stop trying to figure out how others should live.
I forgive you. I understand, and I don't want to waste any more energy on something that can't be changed. I want my family to be happy again, so, I hope you will be able to forgive me also so that we can indeed kneel at the altar in the temple when we are sealed to Mom and Dad.
Now, if I could just get all of these other little habits and slips to stop. I finally got the carpets cleaned and the furniture will be moved back tonight. The dishes are done, and the laundry is current. It would really help if the mail did not pile up on me and if the plants on the patio would not dry out so quickly. I am trying to get the upper hand on life so that I am more proactive and less reactive. It seems there is always so much work to be done, and not enough time for "fun". However, fun usually costs money or virtue, so I guess I should be glad there is so much work to do.
I am also trying to stop the habit of day dreaming. The biggest reason is that my day dreams are not very productive. They also sometimes slip into areas that I have worked hard to overcome in the past. One of the hardest things for me to overcome in the idea that I will someday not feel the pain and hurt that I have caused others in the past.
I listened to a talk by Wendy Watson Nelson in which she says that the Savior can heal with "NO SCARS". In my heart I know that it is true, but in my head I still have the memory of the pain I caused my children when I left my marriage, and every time I hear them discuss their childhood it comes back with full force and takes my breath away again. She mentioned the metaphor of a board full of nails being a person with active sin. Repentance was the act of removing the nails from the board. She said that it is tragic that some people spend the rest of their lives walking around with all of those holes in their heart. I think I am one of those people. I pray that someday those holes will close up, but in the meantime, I still bleed each time I remember how weak I was.
Each day I pray for strength; strength to overcome yesterday's weaknesses, strength to bear today's burdens, and strength or face tomorrow's challenges. I also pray that someday I will be able to look back and not crumple into a mass of tears. It has been 26 years and I am still crying.
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